The Cow And I

Garbage is right. Don't you have a pet you could have fed that to?

I'll tell you about our pet. When we were living in Chicago, we thought about getting a cat (we're definitely not dog people). But then, I noted, there would be the constant laceration of our furniture, and the occasional surprise hairball tucked neatly away in the corner. So, we thought about a little fuzzy something smaller and less manually expressive. How about a ferret? No, this wouldn't do at all. They're always getting into things, squeezing through keyholes and so forth. Too much trouble. Ok, then, a fish tank wouldn't be so bad, right? Feed them every day or so, aerate it, etc. But there's the tank cleaning. Nobody wants to deal with fish scum. So, finally, we settled for a lava lamp. Next best thing to an aquarium. A few months ago, the maid broke it.

So, you see, no more pet. I had to eat this salad all by myself.

Yeah, ferrets, always getting stuck in those tight spaces.

But it seems that if the lava lamp is broken, you still have a pet: the maid. Unless you fired her for breaking the lava lamp. Is she cute and cuddly?

She is gone. That wasn't the only thing she destroyed.