I'd like to point out that your secret weapon seems to be a dairy cow. I'm assuming dairy products don't count. Have you found some cheap beef source from downed cows?
I figured it out. You've learned that the densest part of the cow is actually the pineal gland, which is used in cosmetics. So you're arranging with maybelline at this very moment to send over a truckload of lipsticks, blue eyeshadow and rouge, for your consumption on prime time tv under the marquee "The Stupidest Show You Ever Saw".
My opponent has fired a barrage of quite amusing barbs at me upon my revelation. I'm certainly not surprised. This is, in fact, what I expected. There is a new, palpable scent of fear in the air, and I could smell it coming from a long way off, drifting in from across the ocean. I am happy that he is safely ensconced in the bosom of matrimony, as this would surely be a horrible burden to bear alone. So, thank you Sarah, for being there.
Regarding their comments:
Downed cows are an intriguing idea. And yes, that would be a cheap source of beef. But I will not be tempted by prion consumption, whatever the short-term advantages may be.
If I were to engage in the slaughter of an animal, it would take place in a sacred fashion, in the traditional manner, Zabiyha. Videotaping would probably not be appropriate for such a hypothetical exercise. And certainly not by an infidel.
My opponent's lipstick idea is especially intriguing. But that would arguably be an expensive, and gut-wrenching experience, unless I were to find beef-flavored, expired cosmetics in a dumpster.
I suspect that, with enough futile guessing from my opponent over the next 2 months, he is likely to unsuspectingly nail it. But, when that does happen, I won't let on. After all, half of the advantage is the element of anxiety it has so clearly begun to produce.
I am quite pleased that my opponent has taken an interest in my plan.
And finally, as per my earlier assertion, I will take a look at my earlier entries to ascertain the extent to which they should be shaved down. This amount is likely, however, to be somewhat small, as the vast majority of cuts I have consumed these last two months have been pan-fried steaks.
Hey, Like I said, if Max approves it, it doesn't bother me at all. There is no shortcut. Eating a pound of meat is eating a pound of meat. If you want to beat me, you have to swallow mass. That's all. There is no trick to it but determination.
In the interests of keeping this weapon of mass consumption (WMC) discussion going (which is highly amusing), I will entertain guesses from you. For every guess that is either, in my opinion, reflective of reality or so funny that it doesn't matter, I will give you one more little hint about the weapon. If, that is, you can take that kind of stress in your life right now.
Leave it to you to make a pig (or in this case a cow) out of yourself at a respectable baby shower.
Whatever your revelation is, as long as Max (praised be his name) okays it, I don't care.
But in the meanwhile, let's see you getting to work on reworking all the gravy back out of your numbers as you promised you would do.
Water. Phooey.
Posted by: Guy | February 29, 2004 03:02 AM
I'd like to point out that your secret weapon seems to be a dairy cow. I'm assuming dairy products don't count. Have you found some cheap beef source from downed cows?
Posted by: Sarah | February 29, 2004 03:15 AM
If you buy a share of a cow (dairy or not), I want to videotape you slaughtering it.
Posted by: Guy | February 29, 2004 03:33 AM
I figured it out. You've learned that the densest part of the cow is actually the pineal gland, which is used in cosmetics. So you're arranging with maybelline at this very moment to send over a truckload of lipsticks, blue eyeshadow and rouge, for your consumption on prime time tv under the marquee "The Stupidest Show You Ever Saw".
Clever. You went to college, didn't you?
Posted by: Guy | February 29, 2004 05:56 AM
My opponent has fired a barrage of quite amusing barbs at me upon my revelation. I'm certainly not surprised. This is, in fact, what I expected. There is a new, palpable scent of fear in the air, and I could smell it coming from a long way off, drifting in from across the ocean. I am happy that he is safely ensconced in the bosom of matrimony, as this would surely be a horrible burden to bear alone. So, thank you Sarah, for being there.
Regarding their comments:
Downed cows are an intriguing idea. And yes, that would be a cheap source of beef. But I will not be tempted by prion consumption, whatever the short-term advantages may be.
If I were to engage in the slaughter of an animal, it would take place in a sacred fashion, in the traditional manner, Zabiyha. Videotaping would probably not be appropriate for such a hypothetical exercise. And certainly not by an infidel.
My opponent's lipstick idea is especially intriguing. But that would arguably be an expensive, and gut-wrenching experience, unless I were to find beef-flavored, expired cosmetics in a dumpster.
I suspect that, with enough futile guessing from my opponent over the next 2 months, he is likely to unsuspectingly nail it. But, when that does happen, I won't let on. After all, half of the advantage is the element of anxiety it has so clearly begun to produce.
I am quite pleased that my opponent has taken an interest in my plan.
And finally, as per my earlier assertion, I will take a look at my earlier entries to ascertain the extent to which they should be shaved down. This amount is likely, however, to be somewhat small, as the vast majority of cuts I have consumed these last two months have been pan-fried steaks.
Posted by: Eric | February 29, 2004 10:18 AM
Hey, Like I said, if Max approves it, it doesn't bother me at all. There is no shortcut. Eating a pound of meat is eating a pound of meat. If you want to beat me, you have to swallow mass. That's all. There is no trick to it but determination.
Posted by: Guy | March 1, 2004 01:48 AM
In the interests of keeping this weapon of mass consumption (WMC) discussion going (which is highly amusing), I will entertain guesses from you. For every guess that is either, in my opinion, reflective of reality or so funny that it doesn't matter, I will give you one more little hint about the weapon. If, that is, you can take that kind of stress in your life right now.
Posted by: Eric | March 1, 2004 09:58 AM