He Hates These Cans!

As a longtime admirer of the life and works of Navin R. Johnson, I received a special thrill this week.

"The new phone book's here! The new phone book's here!" I found myself shouting as I ran with it into my office. "I'm somebody now! Millions of people look at this book every day! This is the kind of spontaneous publicity, your name in print, that makes people. I'm in print! Things are going to start happening to me now."

But a few moments later, I was met with disappointment. No aleatoric menacers, no listing, no mention at all in fact. I slumped under the weight of my own insignificance. And then it caught my eye:

All of Montcaret is on the same page, you see. And they had misspelled me! Both names in fact! With the result that now, no doubt, there's some rifle-weilding can-hating weirdo out there with an extra allottment of misinformation in his poor, addled head.

So as urgently as required, I called up the phone company and corrected the listing. At the same time, I added "L'orbite de mars" as our street address.

And now I can't wait for the next time the new phone books are here!